It’s the anti-fairy-tales I like now - the James Bond stories. Irene Adler in Sherlock - where nothing’s really good in the traditional sense, but there’s something of a fairy-tale in there somewhere. Something of impossible loveliness we crave.
When I was little - hell, even a few years ago - the stories I read had sappy plots where the girl got the boy and the curtain fell on a white wedding. Now, though, after far too long of looking far too hard at humanity and coming up lacking, my view of life has changed. Instead of trying to convince myself that fairy-tales can exist in the real word, I find myself trying to believe that the things faery-tales stand for - love, adventure, luck, beauty - can exist in a world where the fairy-tales themselves are impossible.
Both view are equally difficult to justify, both can hurt just as much, and in a way I suppose I could give them neat little names: Optimism and pessimism. Either way, for anyone else who’s having trouble believing that there’s a prince out there waiting for you, it may be easier to imagine that you can be happy without a prince. That you don’t need perfection to love.
This is when you reilize your heros are human. And it hurts, because then you have to admit that this is all there is for you. Humanity. And who wants to limit themselves to that? The pain. The suffering. The wars we fight over greed and selfishness.
Every day we are taught that we should be good people, but we are never told what that is. Perhaps because they don’t exist? Because there is no separation? Because there is just humans, good and evil and loving and cruel? Because every hero has a dark side, even if we don’t want to admit it. Because sometimes we applaud evil - sometimes we applaud slaughter (war) and terror (revolutions) and torture (pressure) - and sometimes we condemn good - love (heartbreak), passion (starving artists), caring (weakness). So what, then, is living? How can we live if our highest point may be hell? If, in the end, there may be no difference between the two? If the world is as we perceive it, and good and evil nothing but illusions we would be fools to trust in?
I suppose, then, living must be the process of shaping for yourself a ‘humanity’ you can bear to be a part of.
And this realization is perhaps the greatest tragedy of all. The loss of innocence.
It is what society calls adolescence. Depression. Teenage Angst.
It is what I call the mid-life crisis everyone ignores. Pain of the sort that is so strong it defines you. paralyzing. Hopeless. And, because that is what I have been taught, it is also nothing to worry myself over. ‘Depression,’ as people jokingly say, is just ‘all in your head.’ It’s funny, how people seem to think it’s easier to deal with if it’s not real. How do you kill an idea? Especially if part of you doesn’t want to?
Only the weak, the mentally unstable, the Failures fall prey to depression, to something no one can see.
This, then, is the teenage condition. Forever isolated by the social lie that their feelings are insignificant, their pain - perhaps the worst cross humanity has to bear - simply a display of their own weakness.
Has society so repressed the terrifying revelations of the teenage mind - have past generations blinded themselves so thoroughly - that we refuse to even acknowledge that the loss of innocence is a tragedy? Are teenagers considered immoral because we dare open our eyes and realize how futile it all is?
Oscar Wilde wrote that the books the world calls immoral are those that show the word its own shame.
We are the shame of the world. Until we close our eyes again.
I ship it.
Let me tell you a thing… :-D
I love being part of a fandom so small that there is a welcome wagon, and I giggle every time I see them called to arms:D You guys are awesome <3
Hello and welcome! :3
Welcome to the fandom! Have some tea!
*waves* Welcome! There are plenty of fantastic fanfiction and fanart here for your enjoyment, so have fun! :)
Hello! Welcome to the madhouse. We subsist on Earl Grey tea, abominably cute fanfiction, abominably hot fanfiction, and abominably heartbreaking fics. Oh, and suit porn.
Anonymous asked: Are you ElizabethDurham on AO3?
Yes I am, my dear. Why do you ask?